yet another bold move toward being a big boy

Me: Hi, this is Dean. And, he needs a haircut. Well, not really a haircut, just a little trim.....I don't like to call it a hair-CUT.

Barber: Ok.

Me: Really though, don't cut his curls off. Seriously, I cried the last time someone did that. It was a disaster. He looked like he was 3 or 4 and really he's not even 2, yet. Well, he'll be 2 in a month but, you get the picture, right?

Barber: (odd look) Yes, ma'am.

Me: I like it longer. You know not too short or anything. MAYBE, like a 1/4"-1/2" off. (I grab a piece of his hair between my fingers to show him specifically what that looks like to me)

Barber: Yes, ma'am. The curls are staying. Mom likes the curls. Hey, big man. Hop up here and let's do this thing.

Me: Well, ACTUALLY (the barber picks him up and places him in the chair) he likes to sit in my lap during his haircuts. He gets nervous and really doesn't like the clippers. (At this point the smock is on and the dum-dum is in his mouth) I'd hate to cause a scene.

Barber: Are you sure about that, mom? I think he's going to do it all by himself today.

Me: (in my head) All by himself?! ALL BY HIMSELF? TODAY? Well, I'll give it 30 more seconds and then I'm sure he'll remember how much he hates those clippers around his ears. THEN he'll need me. For sure. No doubt. He'll need me.

(Insert video of Dean doing just fine with clippers here)

Barber: Man, this is big-boy-stylin' today. Mom, he's really doing great.

Me: He sure is. Go Dean. Big-boy-style. woo-woo.

Me: (in my head) He's doing great without me. That IS good but, I also want him to cry. And need me. And he doesn't anymore. Great. Am I going to cry? Oh my goodness, I'm going to cry. This is a moment. Hold it in. Suck it in.

Barber: How am I doing mom? You ok with the look we've got goin' over here?

Me: No, I'm not. Wait, ummm, ya-ya lookin' good. Lookin' good.

He's killing me softly, folks.